A very short definition of the whole world

 

Worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant! 

 

Laloo Prasad Yadav has done it again with his brilliant mind

Honorable Railway minister has done it again.

 New seating arrangements for Sleeper Class in trains.

 

LB	1	4	10	13	19	22	28	31	37	40	46	49	55	58	64	67	73	76
MB	2	5	11	14	20	23	29	32	38	41	47	50	56	59	65	68	74	77
UB	3	6	12	15	21	24	30	33	39	42	48	51	57	60	66	69	75	78
SL		7		16		25		34		43		52		61		70		79
SM		8		17		26		35		44		53		62		71		80
SU		9		18		27		36		45		54		63		72		81

 

LB	Lower Berth
MB	Middle Berth
UB	Upper Berth
SL	Side Lower Berth
SM	Side Middle Berth
SU	Side Upper Berth

 

 

 

Secret behind Rs 30....

WHEN THE BOY WAS RETURNING AFTER HIS MARRIAGE...HE FOUND HIS WIFE
HOLDING A SMALL PACKET;

THE BOY ASKED........WHATS THERE IN THAT PACKET..

WIFE REPLIED.....DARLING THIS IS THE SECRET OF MY LIFE...PLS NEVER OPEN
IT OR ASK ME ABOUT IT FURTHER....OTHERWISE OUR MARRIAGE WILL BE IN
TROUBLE.................................................................
.... ...........

THE COUPLE SPENT THEIR DAYS HAPPILY......BUT THE BOY WAS VERY KEEN TO
KNOW WHAT WAS THERE IN THAT SMALL PACKET......

AFTER SOME DAYS THE BOY AGAIN TOLD......DARLING AFTER MARRYING YOU , I
GOT THE WOMAN OF MY DREAM...BUT TELL ME WHAT THAT PACKET IS.......IT WLL
NEVER AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP.....AS I LOVE U MORE THAN MY
LIFE....................BUT WIFE ONLY TOLD THAT I ALSO LOVE U MORE THAN
MY LIFE....THATS WHY TELLING U NOT TO ASK ABOUT THAT..........

AFTER SOME DAYS WIFE WENT TO HER OWN HOUSE AND FORGOT TO TAKE HER
PACKET.........THEN THE BOY COULDN'T CONTROL HIMSELF....AND OPENED THAT
PACKET.................................!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE WAS SHOCKED TO OPEN THAT........THERE WAS 30 RUPEES......AND 2 WHEAT
GRAINS....IN THAT PACKET......THE BOY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT
WAS...AND HOW IT COULD AFFECT THEIR MARRIAGE LIFE.........

THEN WHEN HIS WIFE RETURNED .....HE BURST INTO LAUGHTER.....AND TOLD
...DARLING WHAT IS THIS......AND HOW IT COULD HAVE AFFECTED OUR
RELATIONSHIP........WHATEVER MAY BE......U HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT THE
SECRET...

THE WIFE REPLIED...........................

THAT'S NOT GOOD...................ANY WAY.......IF U HAVE ALREADY
FINALISED TO KNOW THE SECRET .....HERE IT.....................

BEFORE MARRIAGE ..EACH TIME I MADE LOVE WITH ANY GUY...I PUT A WHEAT
GRAIN IN THAT PACKET TO REALISE THAT I HAVE DONE A MISTAKE.............

THE BOY SAW THOSE TWO WHEAT GRAINS....AND AFTER WAITING FOR TWO MINUTES
TOLD................ ITS OK......EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKE .......

I STILL LOVE U BECAUSE U TOLD ME THE TRUTH........ BUT WHAT IS THAT 30
RUPEES.................................... THE WIFE REPLIED.....THE BOY
FAINTED........................

_

_

_

_

_

_

THE WIFE SAID......I HAVE SOLD 2 KG WHEAT AT A RATE RS 15 PER
KG.................!!!!!!!!!!

Never Argue With Kids!!!!!

My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.

He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.

He held it up and said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

 

---

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.

The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

 

---

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

 

---

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother.”I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”

 

---

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

 

---

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.” Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘that’s Michael. He’s a doctor.’”

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.”

 

---

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”"Yes,” the class said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”A little fellow shouted, “Because your feet aren’t empty.”

 

---

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all You want. God is watching the apples!”

 

---

A kindergarden teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them.

”Wow, Miss Collins!” one child exclaimed. “You look really different without your glasses on !”Another child piped up, “I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!” 
  
  

American Intelligence : George Bush & Abdul Kalam

George Bush & Abdul Kalam

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He
Asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to
Surround him with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them
the right questions," says the Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
Minister, please answer this question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is
not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir!"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.

He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using
that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put Condoleezza
Rice to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleezza, I wonder if
you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to
you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle
over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an
answer.

Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the
problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and
this child is not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush,
and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin
Powell !"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Manmohan Singh!"

John Travolta's house

The Indian politician

Indian politician

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner,

the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.

He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meager senator's salary?"

The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window.

"Can you see the river?"

"Yes"

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

"Of course", said the minister.

"10 percent", said the senator smugly.

Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him.

When they came to his house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built,

glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.

"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees," he asked.

The minister called him to the window.

"See the river over there?"

"Sure", cried the senator.

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said, "No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent", said the minister!!

Beautiful Italy.. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom) About Me RyDER The Man who has never been tired of enjoying the wonders of the world. Beauty, Technology and Love Powers his actions. View my complete profile HiT LiST Blog Archive ►  2009 (50) ►  November (1) ►  October (7) ►  May (2) ►  April (4) ►  March (34) ►  January (2) ▼  2008 (225) ►  December (6) ►  November (10) ►  October (9) ►  September (24) ▼  August (13) A very short definition of the whole world Laloo Prasad Yadav has done it again with his bri... Secret behind Rs 30.... Never Argue With Kids!!!!! American Intelligence : George Bush & Abdul Kalam John Travolta's house The Indian politician Beautiful Italy.. After drinking a lot also, I am fine...HEcK... Tippi - The Wildest Girl in the World shepherd and the man It is Easy to make a Man Happy... But making a wom... Laptops uses... real funny ►  July (163) ►  2007 (18) ►  September (9) ►  August (9)