YOU CAN'T WIN WITH WOMEN

 

  WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


              W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...  
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

                               
               CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you   can  be so   stupid   and   so beautiful all at the same time.' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'


           
      The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having someproblems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to  wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.