Long live Bachelors

This one's for bachelors... even ones who have lost their bachelor's
degree n' those who are going to soon lose the degree! :)

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the
only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for
another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year
married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home
always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She
said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the
kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the
estimate.
--Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
--Anonymous
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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs....."
--Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the
frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll
shut up after u let him in!
--Anonymous
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another
man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have
to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to
interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then
smiled "It really works!"

SK